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death of the moth

by blacklake

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1.
shunning sunday morning stunning sun mourning the death of the moth who willingly flew into its own grave in between the glass and screen rotting silently turning to dust your death in my palm was the lake at night i'm unable to grasp the size and it's hard for me to face i was the one who was in the way
2.
i felt the sky i felt the sky rolling over away from me forever and there's a question there's a question that i refuse to ask but i'll ask it anyway "who am i to say who i am when i only see myself as a reflection?" no breeze, motionless leaves the silence comes roaring in through open windows as if to say "give up" the lake at night sits silently and stares i am staring into nothing and nothing's staring into me
3.
the moon's seeping through certain curtains and there you were in the chair by the window, staring at your reflection, staring back at you sitting in the blue light, what you really look like the house is sleeping you are weeping for the moon and for yourself and i walk out of the house and into the yard, thinking to myself, "i miss the mist that covered me, the cloudy coffin that buried me in sleep"
4.
in a morning still disguised in the blue of the moonlight the lawns all fill with fog and so do i watching from the window a world i can't fit into i know i'm not alone while i'm alive
5.
(no singing) 03:47
(instrumental)
6.
in the morning on the shore as the lake is being born the birds continue singing the songs they sang before and i am in my room and i'm lying on the floor i'm useless and dry born in the lake at night i'm sleeping in the silent woods for good unnoticed the moth slid outta life on the sill i'm mourning you still
7.
two voices 05:22
two voices side by side and intertwined trapped between two eternities one repeats the other the other only sighs now they only sigh and sometimes i leave the windows open to remind myself there was something here before me now i only sigh re redefine the lie redefine the lie you tell yourself at night sleep sleep away the pain sleep away the pain til it turns to gray dream dream of a new life dream of a new life inside the lake at night
8.
from its grave between the glass and the screen the moth sings the song of the sill
9.
in the morning on the shore as the lake is being born the birds continue singing the songs they sang before lie down in the field for ever__ get the feeling that you only repeat repeat repeat
10.
i am a cloud 01:25
what was it i was tryna find before the moth fluttered from its life five pines lie down on sky the blind's lines lie across my eyes partially letting in daylight is this what it means to be a lie like a shadow at night or the moon in the day i can hardly see my shape as if there was something to see anyway there are antlers in the trees constantly calling for me i am the fog in the lawn of my heart i am a cloud
11.
morning sunlight passing through my room i am getting too tired to move there is nothing that i could've done and now i know that that is my fault i remember the night the sky died orange, blue, and gray i'm having trouble thinking of reasons to stay
12.
(no talking) 04:20
(instrumental)
13.
into nothing 02:50
drifting slowly downwards into nothing, into yourself water envelops, flows over your face drifting slowly downwards into nothing, into yourself water envelops, fills in the empty space thinking back on the birds outside the window water envelops, flows over your face you don't have to stay the wind blows everything away
14.
as if to say "there's nothing left worth saying" the deer go back to the woods and i think i should but the songs that i keep singing are the birds lost in the morning of a parking lot at night now there's two of me standing in a lake staring at each other knowing that they can't go back

credits

released July 31, 2016

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blacklake New Hampshire

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